Veni Vidi Vomui

After a long sojourn in the land of 'I can't be arsed to blog', I have returned. And lo! I come bearing awkward anecdotes!

It must be one of those delightful customs I am unaware of that require all persons living in basements by themselves to be pushing health and safety standards. (Having only visited one, and that one being of the unfortunate male persuasion, I am aware that my data cannot be said to be entirely sufficient, but nevertheless. Nevertheless.)

So there I was, accompanying a friend to the home (read biohazardous pit) of her significant other, when, as soon as the door opened, we were struck by an assault, yea, verily an assault, upon our nostrils. I do not know - I do not want to know what led to the development of that horrific miasma, but I begged my friend to dump the rat immediately, using the time-honoured legal argument of 'veni, vidi, vomui'.

I came, I saw, I puked my guts out.

Well, no, not literally. But from what I smelled, clearly I wouldn't have been the first.

The mind boggles at the face of such debasement. Why? Why would you want to live in such conditions? More importantly to me, why would any sane person willingly associate with someone who chooses The Stinky Way? (Conscientious readers may be pleased to note that my friend came to her senses [which were reeling] quite fast and dumped the aforementioned rat quite quickly, making the intervention staged later that night almost superfluous.)

A note to clarify things for any self-righteous berks gearing up for a tirade against perceived discrimination:
The stench was not from the neighbourhood, but from the rat's basement, which, I might add, was attached to his parents' home, which was in turn attached to one of the more affluent areas near the university.

That said, the rant-esque anecdote is over. Live and let live, I always say. Of course I usually only say this after I have squashed any bees that had the sheer impertinence to fly into the apartment. I do let live. I let the little buggers live for the whole five minutes it takes me to get the broomstick.