Things I have Stolen from the internet

(I couldn't resist - the character in the picture on the left is one of the most odious little twits on TV. That would be exactly the sort of thing he would say.)

Also, see below:
(This is what I find amusing when I am too tired to actually think.)
A cell walks into a bar and says to the barman “I’m really tired, do you have any energy for sale?”

The barman hands over a large glass of silvery energy which the cell promptly downs.

The cell passes the glass back and the barman says “That’ll be eighty pee please”